So, I think I'll take fanfiction a little lighter.
I still will write it for myself, but posting it? Hmm....people are scary now-a-days, the whole 'OOC' thing and 'update! update!' thing and the fact that life kicks me around and I tend to weave in and out of fandom. I don't feel like getting in big conversataions with people to defend the fact that I like yaoi or I like a certain pairing or I think a certain character makes a good uke or seme.
I want to finish up what I have started at the very least, maybe write some things here and there, but overall? I'm not so sure. It's not as fun as it used to be, or as enjoyable, and really, I'm also getting sick of feeling like I have to impress people with it. I want to impress myself foremost. I want to write whatever I want to write whenever I want to write it. And also? Original fiction is making me happier. It's more free and relaxed and nobody's picking it apart.
When people say, "this plot is cliche" (not necessarily mine, but another's) or "overused" or "so-and-so would never do this" it's just - why don't you go write your own damn fanfiction if you don't like it? If you think something's OOC or over-used, go write your own fic and make yourself happy. I'm not here to impress people anymore. I'm here to write because I love writing, and that should be my motivation.
"A Project In Red Ink" is going to be my comfort, since Starlight Cafe is finished. I think I'm going to work on that most of all, get Elliot and Lai a little more developed and just had fun. And if I want some good Ovan/Haseo or Roxas/Axel (uke Axel cheers me up) then I'll go search out a rare fic or art and if that doesn't work, I'll go write it myself.
I know how to write, I know how to bend words and create plots and do things a lot of people struggle with, and I'm not bragging here because I never brag about anything. I beat myself up over everything I do, and to be honest, this is probably the first time I admitted that I liked something of mine in a very long time. Yeah, I'm proud of my writing. I think I'm pretty damn good at it. So maybe I should just say, 'hey, screw these stupid opinions, this makes me happy and I'm going to keep doing it.'
You guys are not losing a fanfiction writer, but you're going to be seeing less of my work. Let's hope that next time I come across somebody bitching that 'this is wrong/OOC/stupid!' they'll get the damn picture that we're writers, we write, and if you don't like what we're writing, go find yourself some other crap to read. I don't care, because either way, I'm getting my fanfiction from myself and if nobody's going to appreciate us fanfiction writer's works, then they're the ones missing out. Makes no difference to me if people read what I write, because I still get to read it and that's a good fix for me.
Also? I'm confident in myself. I'm pretty damn cool. It's taken me years and years of fighting depression to be able to say that, so I'm going to say it. I've got my writing. If other people want to complain, they can go without.