So, I think I'll take fanfiction a little lighter.

I still will write it for myself, but posting it? Hmm....people are scary now-a-days, the whole 'OOC' thing and 'update! update!' thing and the fact that life kicks me around and I tend to weave in and out of fandom. I don't feel like getting in big conversataions with people to defend the fact that I like yaoi or I like a certain pairing or I think a certain character makes a good uke or seme.

I want to finish up what I have started at the very least, maybe write some things here and there, but overall? I'm not so sure. It's not as fun as it used to be, or as enjoyable, and really, I'm also getting sick of feeling like I have to impress people with it. I want to impress myself foremost. I want to write whatever I want to write whenever I want to write it. And also? Original fiction is making me happier. It's more free and relaxed and nobody's picking it apart.

When people say, "this plot is cliche" (not necessarily mine, but another's) or "overused" or "so-and-so would never do this" it's just - why don't you go write your own damn fanfiction if you don't like it? If you think something's OOC or over-used, go write your own fic and make yourself happy. I'm not here to impress people anymore. I'm here to write because I love writing, and that should be my motivation.

"A Project In Red Ink" is going to be my comfort, since Starlight Cafe is finished. I think I'm going to work on that most of all, get Elliot and Lai a little more developed and just had fun. And if I want some good Ovan/Haseo or Roxas/Axel (uke Axel cheers me up) then I'll go search out a rare fic or art and if that doesn't work, I'll go write it myself.

I know how to write, I know how to bend words and create plots and do things a lot of people struggle with, and I'm not bragging here because I never brag about anything. I beat myself up over everything I do, and to be honest, this is probably the first time I admitted that I liked something of mine in a very long time. Yeah, I'm proud of my writing. I think I'm pretty damn good at it. So maybe I should just say, 'hey, screw these stupid opinions, this makes me happy and I'm going to keep doing it.'

You guys are not losing a fanfiction writer, but you're going to be seeing less of my work. Let's hope that next time I come across somebody bitching that 'this is wrong/OOC/stupid!' they'll get the damn picture that we're writers, we write, and if you don't like what we're writing, go find yourself some other crap to read. I don't care, because either way, I'm getting my fanfiction from myself and if nobody's going to appreciate us fanfiction writer's works, then they're the ones missing out. Makes no difference to me if people read what I write, because I still get to read it and that's a good fix for me.

Also? I'm confident in myself. I'm pretty damn cool. It's taken me years and years of fighting depression to be able to say that, so I'm going to say it. I've got my writing. If other people want to complain, they can go without.

because whenever I try to go on a search there my computer gets unresponsive.

Do any of you y!gallery members have similar problems?


EDIT: okay, switching to Foxfire seems to take care of most of the issues. heh heh

So apparently I have some twists on typical seme-uke relationships?

Most people like SasuNaru, I like NaruSasu. Which, actually, isn't THAT rare of a thing. . .I perfer Sora x Riku against Riku x Sora as well, but again, though that's harder to find, it's not impossible. Atoli x Shino instead of Shino x Atoli? Maybe a few, somewhere.

But Roxas x Axel rather than Axel x Roxas? Unheard of.

I LIKE uke!Axel. And seme!Roxas. I do. I think I've seen maybe one drabble for them, but otherwise. . .what the hell, where are all my fellow RokuAku supporters? >__< Can anyone even rec me some of that, a fic or an image or anything? I feel all alone.

Also, I'm all for equality & switching around IRL, I understand that. But yaoi is, you know, fictional things, so, in short, if I feel like reading some set seme x uke things, then that's what I'm going to do. Maybe I should add some of these pairings to my to-do, just to entertain myself. We need more rare sets.

The list, again, is here:

Character design RP: Papercrane (EDIT: In Progress - about 40% finished) (experimental)

Character design RP: Luis
Character design RL: Punk Twins (they're edible!)
Art: RP gathering (Red Ink clique)
Art: Elliot & Lai
Art: Elliot & Aimee
Art: the project (Red Ink clique)
+give or take whatever, may add or subtract more, let's see what happens

sigh...

Wow, am I Bipolar or what? I mean, it's not even bad right now, it's just..weird. I'm cycling VERY rapidly, it's...just bizarre, my writing's changed, my attitude is going up and down, I'm randomly flipping out at people and then hugging them and running away, and I feel very, very odd. I can't even imagine how it must look to other people, this crazy way I'm acting. But I'm not sad, just randomly annoyed and hyper and all sorts of strange things. But! It's better than a depression spell. For some reason I'm not really worried.

I am getting put down very easily. Twilight? Please, please, please, go away, far away. Worst piece of lit that ever fell into my life. I am horrified and disgusted that such a terrible book is getting so much love. Makes me doubt my own work/people's opinions on anything. So sick of hearing about how great this awful story is. Ugh.

My life has been strange, I can't really describe it any better. Someimes it goes by in a daze and I have trouble updating people on things because I'm not too sure what happened myeslf. I'm working on a new story called "A Project In Red Ink", and on that note, I plan to put up some original artwork for that. Will put a checklist below so you have an idea of what to expect. Yes, that means very little/no more fanart. Apparently this account artwork cycles just as rapdily as I do.

Character design RP: Papercrane (EDIT: In Progress - about 40% finished)

Character design RP: Luis
Character design RL: Punk Twins (they're edible!)
Art: RP gathering (Red Ink clique)
Art: Elliot & Lai
Art: Elliot & Aimee
Art: the project (Red Ink clique)
+give or take whatever, may add or subtract more, let's see what happens

Thanks you guys, love you.

I just finished the Forest of Pain. Quite tough. For me, anyway. All the enemies had very high defense D:

And, well...the ending surprised me.

A lot.

but in a good way!

...I'm going to shut up now.

On another note, why is it that I can't log on to RAPPELZ anymore? I want to level up my Feiye D: